Get over it.....

Why is it that some people just seem to dwell? Never reflect, never thoughtful, they just dwell. You know what happens when you dwell? You get angry. You get bitter. You get resentful. What a sad sad way to go through life. Dwelling and hating.

Where does all of this come from you ask?

Earlier this morning, I decide to make my morning rounds though the office. You know how it goes. You go from desk to desk asking people how their weekend was, asking for good stories, etc. It is not so much that anyone really cares what you did this weekend, but doing this serves two purposes:
(1) It is cordial
(2) It is networking, which if you have spent any significant time in DC, you know that networking makes or breaks a career.

Anyhow, I go from desk to desk asking people the standard questions. When I get into another room, one where some people I know well are located, I proceed with the same routine questions. Now admittingly, I used to go out with these people fairly regularly, and admittingly, I have not done so since classes began in August. So, when I ask them how the weekend was, I get a cold shoulder. WTF? Who the hell do these people think they are giving me a cold shoulder?

Ooooooh....I see. So you are mad I did not go to the party you threw this weekend.

Having this experience earlier sort of sent me into a nice reflective mindset for a large portion of the day. I thought about how things used to be before classes started. I thought about the happy hours, the receptions, the parties and the fun. It was then that I realized:

"things really are different now"

It just seems as if I am in a different phase of life. Making it worse, it seems as if my **friends** are resentful because of this. They are upset I do not go out anymore. They think I should make time for them on the weekends.

As valid as the concerns may be, what they do not see is the other side of the spectrum. They do not realize the effort it takes to be a law student holding down a job. They do not understand that working Monday thru Friday means I am studying Saturday thru Sunday. However, this is not the biggest thing that they fail to understand:

They do not realize that I am choosing not to grasp onto my undergraduate years as I feel them inevitably sliding away

Yeah, so I do not go out anymore with you guys. Get over it. It is nothing personal. Rather, it is a personal choice. Do not get upset with me because, as you choose to go and drink your 20's away without making any investment whatsoever into your future, I am busting ass so I can enjoy the time in my life that you are still slaving away in a low salary job. You know what they call people like that here on Capitol Hill? Hillrats. That's right. My friends have turned into hillrats. They have no future, ambition, motivation. None of it. They came to Capitol Hill, got sucked into the lifestyle and before they know it, they will be to old to leave. Nowhere to go and certainly no transferable skills to get there.

So, next time you get upset at me for not going to your bullshit party, with 40 people drinking cheap beer and whole grain vodka, pour yourself an extra one, put on your Capitol Hill staff id, take a scan around the room at the other hillrats and.......Get Over It.

Idealism

What happened to me? At what point in my life did I change from an idealistic youth confronting the excitement and wonder of Washington, DC to, a cynical person laced with a pessimistic perception of reality?

We have this girl in our office, well actually she works in the office next door but for all practical purposes (for reasons I will not go into here) she is in our office. This girl is the typical staffer on the hill: Fresh out of undergrad, attractive, and excited to be here. For the last few weeks since she became a part of the staff, I have had a friendly relationship with her. We have talked several times and she has told me stories of her undergrad. All in all, I think she is a nice person.....not in that way either. However just recently, I had a very eye opening conversation. Nothing particular was said that raised a red flag but, perhaps it was just her demeanor.

We were in a discussion about how my family is coming to visit in a few months when she started getting all excited at the though.
"Wow.....that will be fun. You can go to the park, show them the sites, throw a Frisbee on the mall. How exciting!"

That is when it hit me. None of that stuff seemed fun to me at all. I realized that in only a few short years, I have completely changed my perception of this city from an exciting place of opportunity surrounded by gorgeous sites, to just another place. School, work and home. That is the routine. I do not want to play Frisbee on the mall.....I do not even want to go to the damned mall. The sites? I would have to deal with the tourists then. Sit in the park.....are you kidding me? What in the hell would I want to sit in the park for? Did she not realize that those precious minutes in the park are valuable time that could be spent doing productive activities? There are memos to write, issues to research, briefs to complete. I do not have the time, energy or the desire to sit in the park. I probably cannot even get a wireless signal out there anyhow.

So, there it is. Somehow, in the middle of the night during a moment when I was not paying attention, someone stole my idealism. All I got in return was cynicism and things to complete. What a trade.

Sometimes, I like to think that I can get that idealistic attitude back. I like to believe that I can change my thoughts and the way I view the things and people that surround me. However, I know that I cannot. Instead, I am aware that I will always remember the things I have seen and the conversations that I have overheard in the hallways of this building that I work in which, have done nothing more than reinforce and promote my current state of mind. This is the real world. This is the world where deals are made, laws are crafted, court decisions are handed down and lives are changed forever. In a place like this, with implications such as those, there is no room for idealism.

Move aside please and take your idealism with you. There is business that needs to get done.

And so it begins...

A name is a tough thing to determine. When I first came up with the idea to fill this empty void with random thoughts and musings, sometimes witty and sometimes more serious, I struggled for a name. Initially, I wanted to get something funny. Then, I wanted to make a morbid title. Eventually, I decided on what you see before you: The Novice.

Why did I choose this name you ask?

Webster defines it as follows:

Novice: 1 : a person admitted to probationary membership
2 : a beginner

I like to think that we are all beginners at some stage in life. Perhaps the child is a beginner in school; trying to carve a niche into his soon to be acquired intellect. Perhaps the college graduate is a beginner in the professional world; striving to find who he is and what career path he belongs on. Perhaps the newly elected Member is a beginner in Congress; desperately wanting to know where the best receptions are, how to get the best meals for free and which hallways in the doors of Cannon are always empty past midnight so that he may take a stroll with that newly hired intern seeking to find their way on a career path. Or.....Perhaps the multi-million dollar CEO is a beginner in communication; still developing his skills to interact with others so that the next deal, might have a larger profit margin.

In any event, we are all beginners.....and we are all learning something new.

Thus, The Novice

So it begins that we, and yes I include you with that term, start down a path together. Finishing something but always beginning something. At times, I will be insightful and pleasant. However at other moments, I will simply be a bitchy cynic. In any event, it will be fun, confrontational and sometimes...maybe we will all learn something.